Assholes at Concerts

I'm going to tell you guys right up front...this post does not contain wine props or wine info. It only contains me whining. But what it does contain is a way to make me feel MUCH better without having to hurt someone, physically or emotionally, and possibly go to jail.

Here's my story. My younger daughter and I went to a concert the night before Thanksgiving. (Side note: you know your daughter is "all growed up" when she buys you a concert ticket and invites you to go with her to said concert. How cool is that?) We saw an awesome band called Blonde Redhead at the Showbox at the Market in Seattle. We were standing in the second row from the stage so we had a SWEET view of the stage and the band. But there was this asshole standing in front of us who had his fuckity fucking IPhone or some such device up in the air, both arms mind you, recording the concert. It made it VERY difficult for me to see because I’m so damned short (and possibly just plain ol’ damned). But dude! You're standing right there in front of the stage. Why don't you just watch the fucking concert and tell everyone on Facebook and through email and via Twitter or whatever else you do to let your friends know how fucking cool you are and what you're doing every fucking minute of every fucking day that you went to a concert??!! Baby-Jesus-in-a-T-Rex's-mouth! You're standing literally a foot away from the artists on the stage. Just think how freaking awesome the concert would've been if you'd actually watched it with your own eyes!!

I was reading one of my favorite blogs, The Oatmeal (http://theoatmeal.com/), and apparently he's experienced the same thing because he drew a comic about how fucking annoying these people can be!! The comic was drawn by The Oatmeal and I copied it from The Oatmeal. So he gets all the credit and I’m totally not trying to steal his work. But I nearly stood up and cheered when I saw that he had drawn this comic about the same assholery.

While this was happening, my first inclination was to karate chop that fucking IPhone out of the guy's hands but I would've had to buy the asshole another one, so instead, I leaned over to my daugher and I said, "This guy is fucking annoying for holding up his IPhone and recording the concert right in front of us while he's literally less than a foot away." And she said, "Mom. Everyone does that at concerts now." Her reply made me so glad that I'm old. I mean, I'm not ancient by any stretch of the imagination, but I guess I'm TOO OLD TO BE RUDE AT CONCERTS. That was what I told her. "That's just RUDE!" And it is. Rude. Very. I’m just saying.

Karma will get you annoying guy at concert. I’ll tell you that for nothing. When you get older, some young annoying kid will, I don’t know, will have sex with your daughter or something and record it in front of you. You just wait. My predictions usually come true. So don’t have any daughters. Or don’t let your daughters date.

Whatever. I feel better now.