Kumquat Postal Worker

Kumquat Postal Worker: Hi. Can help you?

Me: Yes. I'd like to pick up a package. Here's the package delivery slip I received today.

Kumquat Postal Worker: What address?

Me: It's on the delivery slip I just gave you. It's in your hand.

Kumquat Postal Worker: (Didn’t attempt to look at address on delivery slip.) No can read address.

Me: What? Okay. My address is 1234 I Hate Postal Workers Lane. Unit Z.

Kumquat Postal Worker’s Boss: Sometimes our carriers have terrible handwriting.

Me: (Thinking: That’s because your carriers are postal workers and they have the IQ of a Kumquat. Can Kumquats even write?)

Kumquat Postal Worker: Closing in 5 minutes. I go look for package.

Me: (Thinking: Sheesh. This postal worker can barely speak English. And can she even read?)

Kumquat Postal Worker: Carrier no return yet. Package no here. You come back tomorrow.

Me: Staring incredulously (Grumbling quietly: Fucking government workers. IQ of a fucking Kumquat.)

Me: (Thinking: Hmmmm. I wonder what Kumquat wine would taste like...)